Empty Nest Syndrome

Extract from Stronger Every Mile

The thought of an ‘empty nest’ filled me with alarm, having dedicated years to raising my three kids. Caitlin was maturing and becoming increasingly independent. I missed her company and our ‘girly’ conversations. I felt pride in her achievements but mingled with moments of isolation and melancholy. Theo was out and about at college, so he was still at home and busy working. While Milo, my youngest, had started to detach from the activities we had once shared and now lived in his bedroom.

I felt empty. Their busy lives, which I had once been a part of, were going on around me and my reason for being was ebbing away.

Looking back, while it was difficult to get used to the loneliness of a quieter home and a less chaotic daily routine, eventually, I began to see that there was light at the end of the tunnel. After devoting much of my time and energy towards having a family, I needed to appreciate having the opportunity to redirect some of that focus to personal growth.

I decided it might do me good to catch up with friends from the past, visit new places and explore forgotten interests. It was the ideal time to re-evaluate my relationship with myself, my kids and Chris. Taking advantage of having fewer pressing obligations meant I could invest time in ‘Libby’, in something which uplifted me and ignited my spark.

It slowly started to register that I shouldn’t be viewing the empty nest as a loss but as the beginning of an increased sense of independence and freedom. It didn’t mean that the bond I shared with my kids would automatically disappear. It meant that my connection with them would continue to develop and grow in different ways. Observing their success as self-sufficient adults should be gratifying, knowing I had played a significant part in shaping their path towards adulthood.