Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Everyone is Faster Than Me

There I was, huffing and puffing along the country roads as I had just made it to the top of a never ending hill (never again) when two girls flew past me. They were young and were having an in-depth conversation and looked like they were on a rest day. Lovely matching cycling gear and fancy bikes. While I had my muddy old bike and some old running bottoms and a bright orange running top. (They must be on electric bikes, I thought) They made it look so effortless while I sounded like an asthmatic old crone. I was all red and sweaty and let’s face it exhausted.

My immediate thought? "Why am I even bothering?"

They sped off into the distance. While I was still recovering from the huge hill I had just dawdled up. They would probably be home soon having a protein smoothie and updating their training logs with times that would make my eyes water.

Welcome to the comparison trap, folks. It's where joy goes to die, and where perfectly reasonable goals suddenly feel ridiculous.

The Instagram Trap

Social media makes comparison unavoidable. Every day, your feed serves up a highlight reel of other people's achievements. Perfect training selfies taken at golden hour (how do they always look so glowing after exercise?) Impressive split times posted with casual "easy run today" captions. Race photos where everyone looks like they're having the time of their lives instead of questioning their life choices. Someone saying I’ve only done 25 hours training this week, I’m worried I’m not doing enough.

I became obsessed with other people's training posts. This woman was already doing 100K bike rides while I was celebrating managing 20K without stopping. That woman was posting open water swimming videos while I was still trying to master the distance in a pool.

The worst part wasn't just seeing what they could do - it was the comments. "Amazing pace!" "You're so inspiring!" "Goals!" Everything I hated about social media. Life was far better without it.

Comparing Chapter 1 to Chapter 20

The thing about social media fitness content is that you're usually seeing someone's highlight reel, not their starting point. That woman posting the effortless looking 10K run? You don't see the months (or years) of building up to that point. The swimmer gliding through open water like a dolphin? You miss the part where they probably spent weeks hyperventilating in shallow water.

But our brains don't process this logic. We see their current performance and compare it to our current struggle, forgetting that everyone starts somewhere. We're comparing our Chapter 1 to their Chapter 20, then wondering why we feel inadequate.

I remember scrolling through triathlon posts and feeling like I'd made a terrible mistake. There were either young super models or mostly muscley men who had never stepped out of the gym. Everyone looked so capable, so athletic, so... not like me. Where were the middle-aged women who cried in car parks? Where were the people who Google "how to change a bike tyre" at 2am? Where were my people?

The Myth of the Natural Athlete

The comparison trap gets worse when we convince ourselves that other people are just "naturally" good at sport. They have better genetics, more time, supportive families, better equipment - anything to explain why they're succeeding where we're struggling.

This myth is particularly toxic because it suggests that struggling means you're not cut out for it. If it was meant to be, it would be easier, right? Wrong. So wrong.

I spent months convinced that everyone else found training easier than I did. They must enjoy 5am pool sessions (surely no one actually enjoys that?) They must not feel sick after hard intervals. They must not have that voice in their head questioning whether they're too old, too slow, too deluded.

Then I started actually discovering other people who had trained for a triathlon. Guess what? They all had the same doubts, the same struggles, the same "what the hell am I doing?" moments. The difference wasn't that they found it easier - it was that they'd made peace with it being hard.

Learning to Celebrate Small Wins

The antidote to comparison isn't avoiding other people's success - it's learning to measure your own progress differently. Instead of comparing my 5K time to someone else's, I started comparing it to my own baseline. Instead of feeling inadequate about my bike speed, I celebrated being able to cycle at all without falling off.

My first proper breakthrough came when I realized I'd done my first 30km ride without stopping and wearing cleats. See, I was a proper cyclist now.

That day, I decided: my only competition was yesterday's version of me. If I swam further, cycled faster, or ran longer than last time, that was a win. Full stop.

The Power of Your Own Story

When you stop comparing yourself to others, something magical happens, you start appreciating your own journey. My story wasn't about being the fastest or the strongest - it was about transformation. About proving that it's never too late to surprise yourself.

The girls who effortlessly overtook me on their bikes. Their story was different from mine. Maybe they had been riding for years, or maybe they were just younger and fitter. That’s okay. Maybe they were training for their twentieth race. Maybe they would never experience the particular joy of going from "can’t wear cleats" to "completed a Half Ironman." Their achievements didn't diminish mine - they were simply different.

Redefining Success

Comparison culture teaches us that there's only one definition of success: being the best, the fastest, the strongest. But what if success was simply showing up? What if it was consistency rather than speed? What if it was courage rather than capability? What if it was making the cut off and crossing the finish line rather than completing it in sub 4 hours.

My definition of a successful training session changed completely. It wasn't about hitting certain times or distances - it was about doing what I said I'd do when I said I'd do it. It was about not giving up when it got uncomfortable. It was about proving to myself that I was someone who kept commitments to herself. It was about getting home from a training session and putting a great big tick on my training plan. One step closer to race day.

Time for Your Journey

If you're caught in the comparison trap, feeling inadequate every time you see someone else's success, here's your permission slip to stop. Their journey is not your journey. Their Chapter 20 is not your Chapter 1. Their highlight reel is not your behind-the-scenes reality.

Instead of asking "Why aren't I as fast/strong/capable as them?" try asking "How far have I come from where I started?" Instead of focusing on who's ahead of you, celebrate who's behind yesterdays you.

The only person you need to be better than is who you were before you started. The only pace that matters is the one that gets you to your finish line. The only story worth telling is your own.

Stop scrolling. Start moving. Stop comparing. Start celebrating.

Your journey is uniquely yours, and that's exactly what makes it worth taking.

What small win are you going to celebrate today instead of comparing it to someone else's highlight reel?